☢ Sketch Diary ☢

OBSIDIAN: So you figured it out. Does it help? Do you feel better? You think you're so smart. But this doesn't change anything, does it?

OBSIDIAN: You people make me sick, you know. It's like you want to suffer. Why do you want things to have been worse than they were. Why do you want IT to have happened? What you really want is an excuse for—

TOPAZ: Oh, don't even go there with me. You specifically should know why I do that.

TOPAZ: You're nothing but a coward anyways. ALL BARK NO BITE.

TOPAZ: You want me to fear you like the others do? Fuckin' prove you're a real threat.

TOPAZ: FOLLOW THROUGH NEXT TIME.

DELTA: Everything is UNDER CONTROL!

[folder is labled "my brain" with tabs for emotion, memory, and trauma]

KAT: I want to watch Bluey again.

SALEM: Maybe later I'm tryina—

SALEM: Wait what do you mean "again???"

RIN: Why do you all keep confusing me for that guy!?

OBSIDIAN: [still not depicted]

SALEM: Well you sound kinda similar... sorry.

SALEM: Why haven't you talked to Delta about this? He has better communication than I do.

RIN: I don't like him.

SALEM: So what, you like me more?

RIN: No, I tolerate you. You're less annoying than the other two.

RIN: They talk down to me. They think they're better than me!

SALEM: Hmm...

SALEM: Yeah, that's not very fair of them, is it?

SALEM: You're probably right to feel angry about it.

RIN: Don't try to therapize me.

SALEM: I'm not.

SALEM: I'm just trying to understand your point of view.

SALEM: Like...

SALEM: As a friend.

RIN: Oh. No one's ever really done that before.

SALEM: I know. And that's part of the problem, isn't it?

RIN: [← Rin, age 14] Well, don't think this means I like you.

RIN: I just wanted to clear up the confusion.

SALEM: That's fine.

RIN: You can put me on your stupid website too.

SALEM: Cool.

TOPAZ: Ey yo I found another one.

KAT: [← "Pinkie", age 6, girl]

SALEM: Nooo but 7 is a prime number.

(Author's Note: Fear not, Salem! There are probably 8 or 9.)

(SALEM: What)

KAT: Yup I am also here.

KAT: And I know everything you know!

KAT: Like CUSS WORDS!

KAT: FUCK SHIT ASS CUNT BITCH PENIS VAGINA

SALEM: [← trying not to laugh]

TOPAZ: STOP TRIGGERING YOURSELF, DUMBASS.

DELTA: [← keeps reading books, articles, websites, etc.]

SALEM: [← keeps trying to access traumatic memories]

DELTA: Okay then, wise guy. What's your suggestion?

TOPAZ: Idk I just don't really think about it.

DELTA: Unhelpful. Also stop picking your nose. [← life-long bad habit]

[There may have been a few signs...]

MATT: [← 8] This is my friend Fyra she's big & tough & not scared of anything. She helps me stand up to bullies.

MATT: [← 14] I drew a "self portrait" to show the differences between all of my "selves".

MATT: [← 17] Haha yeah I just kinda felt like making a second fursona. Y'know like an "alter ego".

DELTA: [thinking] Okay what do I have to eat...

SALEM: [internal dialogue] You didn't buy any sweets!!!　[← emotional eater]

TOPAZ: えっと…　ブェェェ～ [← doesn't like sweets that much so forgot]

DELTA: [← anorexic & just wants to survive mealtime]

TOPAZ: And what did we learn today? [← spent the afternoon cleaning moldy dishes & going to the grocery store]

DELTA & SALEM: [← hate doing chores and enable each others' procrastination until it becomes a problem]

SALEM: You know this also explains some other points of contention too... [← greyro(?) homosexual]

DELTA: [← aroace]

TOPAZ: [← hypersexual faggot]

KITTY: [← sexual trauma]

BLUE: [← literally a minor]

DELTA: Okay, sound off. Who do we know is here? [← logical self, copilot]

SALEM: [← social self, copilot]

TOPAZ: [← sexual self, desire/vices]

KITTY: [← preteen self, memory/sadness]

BLUE: [← child self, joy/greif]

RED: [declined to be depicted] [← angry self, rage/justice]

SALEM: Aren't you a dragon?

TOPAZ: That's just my fursona.

DELTA: My theory is that each of us plays a different roll as "Matt". I'll draw a chart for you.

SALEM: That looks like a penis.

DELTA: SHUT UP

[sketch of mental map with note: IRL it took a few drafts to get here]

SALEM: What if you're wrong, though? Aren't you worried that pretending we're separate exacerbates the problem?

DELTA: Well, obviously. But at worst it's just a way to process our thoughts & feelings, right?

DELTA: I'm not exactly happy about the idea, either. But we've exhausted so many other options.

DELTA: We know that whatever is going on can't continue w/o risk to ourself & others.

DELTA: Besides, it would explain quite a lot, wouldn't it?

MATT: Huh? How long have I been here? Did I drive???

MATT: [← talking to self] You need to cut that out!!

MATT: [can't remember childhood]

MATT: When was the last time I could feel sad or angry?

MATT: [zoning tf out]

SALEM: Okay, you're making a little too much sense here, but I don't want to jump to conclusions.

SALEM: I've said for years I am one guy. You are just my anxiety! [former therapist] said so!

DELTA: That's what I'm saying! YOU are ONE guy! I am ONE guy! But it's not YOUR body either, is it?

DELTA: So WHO does it belong to??

DELTA: WHO IS "MATT"!?

SALEM: ...

SALEM: Well you are certainly more than just logic, Delta.

DELTA: As far as I can tell, it's basically like none of us are complete people. We're more like fragments.

DELTA: You know, like in Red vs. Blue.

DELTA: For example, I'm basically like Delta since I'm the logic.

DELTA: Then there's [redacted] and [redacted] & maybe others.

SALEM: Cringe analogy, but I follow.

SALEM: So I guess that makes me Alpha right—

DELTA: Well, about that.

DELTA: You're probably not the core self.

DELTA: Anyways now that you're finally willing to cooperate with me, we can start putting together all the pieces...

SALEM: [← ENTIRE PERSPECTIVE SHATTERED]

[stuck in my apt during ice storm...]

SALEM: AUGH! I CAN'T TAKE THIS ANYMORE!!

SALEM: Okay, fine. I'll play along. If I really am crazy, if any other selves really exist,

SALEM: Then you should be able to respond to this prompt.

???: Oh fuck finally.

???: You're actually going to acknowledge me?

SALEM: Well that's not the response I wanted.