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Log

System Inverview Part 2

03/22/2026

This one focuses on self-perception and general preferences. We thought about asking about media but we each like a lot of different things so we'll save that for another time.

1. What do you typically do or like to do when you front?

SALEM: I do mostly social and creative activities these days. Previously I worked retail but I kind of hated it. I do go to class and our current job sometimes, though.

DELTA: I'm the main one who does our academics (its part of why I exist in the first place) but I also like to talk to our friends, play video games, and do creative stuff.

TOPAZ: Those are two very different questions. I like to hang out w/ my friends and go out to the club to drink and dance and do kink stuff. I also like streaming art and video games! Day-to-day though I just end up doing a lot of chores and errands.

OBSIDIAN: I don't front.

Note: He's lying, but we're not going to push it.

LUKE: I don't know what that means.

RIN: I don't come out often. Usually it's just when something pisses me off. I mean I guess I also like the art and music and stuff but it's not usually "me" doing it.

KITTY: Go to bed. [pause] Okay I thought it'd be funny to leave it at that but like everybody else I also draw and play games and watch Youtube and stuff. I don't like talking to people much, though.

KAT: I like to draw and colour and play piano and listen to music and watch cartoons and play video games. I really like Spyro and Pokemon and My Little Pony but like the old one but the new one is also good. Oh I also take us to the park when we feel bad because it makes us feel better to be outside and swing and listen to music.

BLUE: Umm... get scared. [he means that's what often happens when he fronts; he also likes to "play with" Kat when she's out]

2. How would you describe your gender and sexuality?

SALEM: Well I'm definitely a gay man. I like the idea of having a partner and having sex, but both are kind of difficult for me, so right now I mostly just do kink.

DELTA: I'm a man I suppose but I don't have a strong sense of gender (something something autism gender void). I have pretty much zero interest in dating or having sex so its safe to call myself aroace. I think sex and kink are interesting intellectually and men are visually appealing, though.

TOPAZ: I'm into men, but gender is tricky. I think I'm a man at my core, but I like that I embody both male and female aspects. I really enjoy a hyper feminine type of sexual expression, especially when it's contrasted with masculine features. Also, I love talking about sex and kink. Please talk to me about sex and kink.

OBSIDIAN: Don't care. [pause] Male I guess.

LUKE: I'm gay... as far as gender it feels weird to call myself a boy but I don't think I'm fully a man either... I guess that's normal for teenagers. I'm not really comfortable with the idea of having sex but I've dated people.

RIN: Female, I guess. That might just be the result of how I was when I was formed, or maybe I just internalized too much "girl power" messaging. My feelings on sex and sexuality are pretty complicated; I don't want to get into it.

KITTY: Well I'm a girl but I think only because I thought I was a girl when I split off. I don't have a strong sense of it. I definitely don't feel like a boy, though. In terms of sexuality I prefer not to think about sex or romance at all.

KAT: I'm a girl! I know what sex and kink are but I don't want to participate. Dating sounds fun, though! I'm sad we don't have a boyfriend, but maybe he would be uncomfortable with us so maybe it's okay that we don't. But it's nice to think about!

BLUE: [he's a boy]

3. How does your self-perception differ from the body?

SALEM: Hard to say. I don't really feel connected to the body at all. In my head, I picture myself as like a toned-down version of the fursona, and at my spiritual core I'm just a boring-ass real animal.

DELTA: Ditto to Salem.

TOPAZ: Probably the most disconnected out of anyone here, though ironically I'm also the most comfortable with how we look externally. Internally I view myself as a huge quadrupedal dragon, but our soul is that of a large feline.

OBSIDIAN: Don't have either.

LUKE: I don't like to think about it.

RIN: Kind of like the other "past selves", though I did age along with the body until I suddenly stopped. So when I think of myself I think of how I was in 8th grade, but I think my self-perception was different from how the body was then, too... idk.

KITTY: It's kind of frozen at how we looked when we were my age, though it's hard to say if we ever even actually looked like that or if it's just a memory of how we felt we looked.

KAT: Well I am a little girl so... very different! I look like how I remember looking. I'm also a kitty cat like everybody else!! Or kitty Kat I should say hehehe. The body is an adult man's body. It's weird whenever I see myself in it!

BLUE: [he doesn't really understand the whole thing]

4. Do you have or want to have your own fursona?

SALEM: Our main fursona is mostly my fursona, though there's a little bit of all of us in him if you squint. That's why I'm drawn slightly different in the comics.

DELTA: Maybe. I've thought about reworking Death Wish from being our ponysona into being me specifically because I like unicorns. But I also think it's really funny to just be Green Salem.

TOPAZ: Famously so, and he's been through some changes over the years. Namely when I was 17 I gave him an anthropomorphic design. Despite my bravado I'm not actually as sexually confident as I draw him, though haha

OBSIDIAN: Don't care. They can do whatever kind of stupid bullshit they want with how they depict me.

LUKE: Yes, but he [Salem] changed it and took its name. He changed the surname, though. It was Salem Scire before.

RIN: I used to have one when I was more active, with both a cat and a Pokemon form (Umbreon). Luke turned her into being less of me and more into an OC when he started suppressing me, though. Maybe I'll revisit her.

KITTY: Not really. Honestly I always just drew myself as a nekomimi over a furry... but I did recently draw a version of the main fursona that's more like me. He [the fursona] still has a lot of elements of how we drew ourself back in middle school.

KAT: Maybe. I just always picture and draw myself as a cat. They draw me as one too. When Monsters Inc. came out the little girl looked just like me it was spooky. I was so scared that the purple one was gonna hook me up to that machine.

Note: She kind of went back to talking about the previous question but we decided to just leave it here. Also, she's right, the similarities are kind of uncanny.

KAT: I even have a pink shirt like that! But it has alligators on it. I like the end of the movie where they beat him up and they think he's an alligator which is another funny coincidence. [sister] and I laughed really hard and then I wasn't as scared.

Note: We don't have that shirt anymore, but it was one of our favourites.

BLUE: [he's a cat]

5. Do you want to be known as an individual to outside people?

SALEM: I think it would feel weird to suddenly be signalled out as a part after spending so long being perceived as a whole. It seems kind of othering. Maybe I'll change my mind later but for now I think the answer is "no" except maybe to close friends.

DELTA: Not really. I've spent over a decade now pretending to be a complete person, and making myself visible to people aside from a select group of friends is more vulnerability than I want to deal with in day-to-day interactions.

TOPAZ: Well apparently people can tell its me even when they don't know it's me, so I'm not sure if I have much of a choice here.

OBSIDIAN: Lol. It's probably best for the outside people's sake that I'm not.

LUKE: I am an individual person. But nobody sees me when they look at me anymore. It's like I became invisible as soon as he* showed up.

Note: By "he", he's pointedly intending to mean Salem, but who would've actually been present at the time would have been the teen host before he split into Delta and Matt.

RIN: I think that's just asking for trouble, so no I think it's better that I stay covert.

KITTY: Not to most people, no. I really don't like when people pay direct attention to me, even though its kind of obvious when I front. Maybe it's okay if it's with friends, though.

KAT: Not really. I think it would be too weird for most people to understand. I think even our friends would think it was uncomfortable so I'm okay to stay inside unless we're alone and it's safe to come out.

BLUE: [doesn't understand]

6. Do you have a favourite food?

SALEM: Sorry for being an American, but its burger... though I also have a major sweet tooth. I also really like Asian food, especially Thai food, and am the only one here with a decent spice tolerance.

DELTA: Maybe a bit boring but its probably salad, especially with grilled chicken and Greek or vinaigrette dressing. I'm not big on heavy foods but I like leafy greens.

TOPAZ: Rare steak. Or smoked brisket. Or pork chops and gravy. I really like red meat. I like vegetables, too, though, like edamame, broccoli, asparagus, etc. Oh, maybe beef stew is a good pick... that's got [Hannah Montana voice] the best of both worlds.

OBSIDIAN: No.

LUKE: Cheeseburgers I guess. I don't really like eating.

RIN: I don't know. I've never really thought about it.

KITTY: I don't know... same as the others probably. Maybe Thai food generally.

KAT: Um... I like chocolate cake the most but I don't get to eat it much. And I like cheeseburgers but only with ketchup and not any of the yucky stuff. I like ham and cheese sandwiches and peanut butter and jelly sandwiches too. And mac and cheese. And mashed potatoes. And hot dogs. And bean burritos.

BLUE: [he doesn't know if he has one]

7. What about a favourite drink?

SALEM: Grape slushie. Or grape drink generally. I probably drink too much of that.

DELTA: Apple juice, probably. Most fruit juice is good though.

TOPAZ: Vodka cranberry or a good ol' screwdriver, whichever I'm in the mood for. Frozen margaritas are also good but it depends on the flavour. I had a really good vodka lemonade with lavender in it once too... Oh or a grasshopper. Actually yeah change my answer to that. Or include the whole ramble that's fine too LOL

OBSIDIAN: No.

LUKE: I don't know. Water?

RIN: Chocolate shake.

KITTY: Umm... I like fruit punch most probably. Especially that berry punch we've been getting lately but red HiC is a classic.

KAT: Grape juice or grape drink or grape slushie! Fruit punch is also good. Or any kind of juice. Except the green grape juice that one tastes weird I want the purple one. I don't like when we drink alcohol either its gross but Topaz likes it.

BLUE: Chocolate milk.

8. Do you have a favourite colour?

SALEM: Purple is my top fave but I also like teal, black, and red.

DELTA: Bright-ass lime green. I'm generally a fan of neons. Red is my second favourite.

TOPAZ: Teal babyyyyyyyyyyyyy (tho purple and pink are also nice)

OBSIDIAN: No.

LUKE: Purple. [Salem] made me be indigo though, because despite what he says he's still convinced that he's the "main" one so he gets to have the favourite colour. Blue is fine too, I guess.

RIN: Red.

KITTY: I like purple, pink, green, red, and bright colours generally, especially paired with black or white. I always wanted to embrace the emo look (or what they call "scenemo" now), so I like those sorts of colours and that sort of aesthetic.

KAT: Purple! But I also like pink and blue and rainbow. Especially bright colours and those three colours together. My friends— well, I mean, my old friends that I don't know any more, each of us were one of those colours and I was the purple one.

BLUE: [he likes blue because it's like Blue's Clues and Sonic (but mostly Blue's Clues)]

System Inverview Part 1

03/19/2026

Salem and Delta asked a few questions to each part as they were available today and had them give a short response. This is mostly about just being a system itself, but we will likely run one about preferences or day-to-day stuff later. Warning for some negative self talk, but we don't want to censor anyone. No trauma is mentioned.

1. How do you feel about being part of a system?

SALEM: It's strange and disorienting, but at the same time very enlightening. I'm trying to make peace with it and the comics are a way for me to do that.

DELTA: It certainly explains a lot, especially in hindsight. I've had my suspicions for years so it's nice to be able to finally sort it out.

TOPAZ: It's whatever. As long as I still get to do what I want to do and they aren't causing us any trouble, I don't really care.

OBSIDIAN: It is what it is.

LUKE: I don't like it. It's distressing.

RIN: It's complicated.

KITTY: I don't know any other way of being, so I can't picture not being one.

KAT: I don't really get it, but they are being nicer to me so I get to do more stuff now and don't have to be sneaky about it.

BLUE: [doesn't understand]

2. How do you feel about the others generally?

SALEM: Well, they're here whether I like it or not, so I just have to adjust to it.

DELTA: Regardless of personal feelings it's in all of our best interest that we work on improving communication and cooperation — myself included.

TOPAZ: Depends on which ones you're talking about. The kids are fine but the adults don't always agree on what's best for us as a whole.

OBSIDIAN: They're pathetic.

LUKE: I wish they would go away. I don't even know if they're real. I don't even know if I'm real.

RIN: Annoyed.

KITTY: It depends. Some of them are nice and others are not so nice. Even the ones that try to be nice sometimes have negative thoughts about each other.

KAT: It's like having friends all the time! But they're mostly grown ups and big kids so sometimes they have to do boring things.

BLUE: [scared of most of them, but feels okay with Kat and Topaz]

3. Describe your system role in your own terms.

SALEM: I'm the one you'd most typically call a "host" part, but I don't really relate to the nomenclature. I see myself more as a social, creative, or empathetic part.

DELTA: I am a host, but also a gatekeeper. I exist to be pragmatic and emotionally disconnected, and to prevent other parts from surfacing when its not safe.

TOPAZ: I think they've been calling me a "protector" type. I just kinda do whatever I feel like — though not without consideration for how it affects the others, of course.

OBSIDIAN: To keep them in their place.

LUKE: I'm just trying to protect myself. But "they" won't ever listen to me unless I make them.

RIN: They used to call me "the angry one", as if it's a bad thing. But one of us has to be. You can't just play nice all the time. You'll be a doormat.

KITTY: To remember the painful things so the others don't have to. I'm not the only one, but it's all I'm really good for.

KAT: Umm I don't really know. Maybe to make sure we don't forget the good things? And also that we remember to have fun sometimes.

BLUE: [scared and lonely and misses things that aren't here anymore]

4. How do you feel about therapy?

SALEM: I haven't had much luck with it in the past, but hopefully approaching it from this angle will actually yield improvements to our mental health.

DELTA: It's necessary in order for us to become healthy and stable. We function okay on the surface, but it's like walking through a minefield every day.

TOPAZ: Disinterested, mostly. I don't feel like I need it. But it's probably useful for some of the other parts.

OBSIDIAN: It's a waste of time. We are not going to "get better."

LUKE: It's dangerous. They are not nearly cautious enough.

RIN: Never helped me any. They just want me to go away.

KITTY: Wary, but I'm trying not to be pessimistic. I hope it will help us this time instead of causing more problems like it usually does.

KAT: It's not the fun kind of therapy. We don't even get to go someplace new for it. I liked the one where I got to paint pictures.

Note: she's referring to the play therapy we did as children

BLUE: [doesn't understand]

5. How do you feel about the potential for "final fusion"?

SALEM: If it happens it happens, but I'm not going to push for it. I just want to be functional, even if that means we stay separated.

DELTA: I don't have strong feelings about it, but it won't happen unless we're able to replace what dissociation does for us currently with different coping strategies.

TOPAZ: I don't think it's possible, frankly. Fusions between others maybe but not me, considering how long I've been separate and how much they rely on me.

OBSIDIAN: [laughs]

LUKE: That depends on any of this being real in the first place. What's the point in trying to "fuse" something that's not actually separate? Won't that just make it worse?

RIN: Good fucking luck with that. It's not going to happen.

KITTY: I think it would have pros and cons. Maybe it would mean less pain for the parts that are hurting, but then the fusion would have to bear all the weight himself.

KAT: Well I will be sad if I have to go away but I don't think I'm supposed to be here anyways. I'm okay with whatever needs to happen!

BLUE: [doesn't understand]

6. How do you feel about turning 30 this year?

SALEM: Relieved, mostly. My 20's haven't been that great so I'm looking forward to moving on and entering the next chapter of my life.

DELTA: It's fine. Ageing is just something that happens.

TOPAZ: I guess every year is another year closer to how old I "feel". I have some insecurities about physically ageing but I'm excited about a new decade of experiences.

OBSIDIAN: Don't care.

LUKE: I don't know. I still feel like a teenager.

RIN: Now that they're not locking me up anymore I might start ageing again. Maybe I'll zoom through all the years I've missed and catch up to the boys.

KITTY: I don't really like thinking about ageing, it just reminds me that I'm stuck.

KAT: I don't get older. They will slowly turn into an old man and I will be the same! Do you think one day we'll be a grandpa and I'll still be here? Wouldn't that be weird?

BLUE: [doesn't understand]